Creative Writing Workshop 09-10

This page is for submitting any creative work you might have. You can share to get feedback or inspiration from your peers. Or you can share just to show off your mad writing skillz.

Published on August 12, 2009 at 11:28 am Comments (144)

Create a free edublog to get your own comment avatar (and more!)

RSS feed for comments on this post.

144 Comments Leave a comment.

on August 24, 2009 at 10:46 pm clearconscience6 Said:

This song means a lot to me, It’s about distance.
Some of the lyrics may not make sense but its a great song and once you understand it, it really is a meaningful song. One of the favorites,

Slightly Stoopid,Mellow Mood.
Hello little darlin’ Ain’t no need to worry
Feels right in my arms now
Why go home, be all alone?
But if the sunshines know thats because of you
Just know thats true.
When all your moneys gone
Where will you be?
If your love is strong
Thats all you need.

One time you know i love you
With your funky @$$ style
I love you twice a much since you had our first child
Our love runs deep like the blood in my veins
I love you always, and always the same
Love remains.
Love your every change
Love your every phase
The passing of the day, plus when your away
Oh darling darling if you stay my love will never change
Feel the power when our 2 hearts will combine
The power is yours and the power is mine
When lover’s part you know the sky must cry
Write you love letters till my pen runs dry
If you stay, good lovin make me wanna fly
If you go, rise and fall-dip and dive
You who I’m with so i shine so bright
I love you darling till the day that i die.

Darling darling I said now where’d you go?
I said I’ll never know, the way you come and go.
When all your moneys gone
Where will you be?
If your love is strong
Thats all you need

Call a 911 and its emergency
But even in the 912 do you feel the urgent see
To people all around the world who never heard of me
Just leave another message please
Lord please guide and protect me
I got the love in my heart
I got fire in my soul
This no type of fire that nobody can control
But when I’m up on the mic
I got the mind overload
They never test me just because they dont rock and roll
I’m singing oh my God Lord have mercy
Thought fools were gettin bad
But now they’re even gettin worse see
Somethings cant be healed up by no doctors or no nurses
It’s time to stop the fussin’ and the fightin’ and the cursin’
This world is hopeless,
But i love it anyway
Thats why they givin all the good love for free
And if u need love, with your lovin are you brave?
Come on and give a little good love to me
Thats what they want.

Darling darling i said now whered you go?
I said I’ll never know, the way you come and go.
When all your moneys gone
Where will you be?
If your love is strong,
Thats all you need.

It’s a long long way from home but hold on.
It’s a long it’s a long long way but hold on.
It’s a long it’s a long long way but hold on.
It’s a long it’s a long long way but hold on.

Call a 911 and it’s emergency
Lord please guide and protect me
Call a 911 and it’s emergency
Lord please guide and protect me
on August 25, 2009 at 9:03 am tchrman Said:

Thank you for sharing, clearconscience. Seems like a great song. However, let’s keep the creative writing workshop reserved for students’ own work. Maybe I can add an additional page for sharing songs, poems, other inspirational writings if there is enough interest.

tchrman
on August 26, 2009 at 6:40 pm bookworm6 Said:

This is a story I wrote in last year. It’s kind of important to me because it’s one of the first that have both started AND completed, because usually I get bored and forget about it. Anywasy, it’s kind of long so I’ll split it up into probaly two or three parts.

Baby Blue

People did’t really believe that there was a wolf around until they heard what happened to my sister.
You’ve heard the story some time or another, Mamma gave Red some food that she was supposed to give to our grandmother, who lives in the middle of the woods,(I know, totally safe, right?) and instead of taking the path around the woods, the dummy took a “shortcut” strait through them.
Long story short, Grandma got moved to a nursing home, Red goes to a therapist three times a week, and that pycho with an ax is a hero. Oh, and everyone’s totally paranoid about the Wolf, and, surprising as it may seem, Eric crying wolf every five minutes isn’t helping!
Just so you know, my name’s Baby Blue. I got that name because Red got her nickname from that stupid coat thingy she likes to wear, and Mamma thought that was so cute, she got me a matching blue one, and since I’m the baby of the family, I was nicknamed Baby Blue. Red thinks it’s cute and joins us together as sisters. I think it’s stupid and wish people would call us by our real names.
“Baby Blue can you go give this to your grandmother?”
“Why can’t Red… oh… yeah…”
Truthfully, I don’t like going to see Grandma because whenever I see her she always jumps into the story of Red and the Wolf.
“I brought you some apple pie, Grandma.”
“Apple pie? Why, I haven’t had apple pie since before Red was attacked by that Wolf. It wasn’t really too long ago…”
Anyway, on my way home I heard Eric crying wolf… again. I figured that he wouldn’t stop until someone came, so I decided to save everyone some trouble and went myself.
To my surprise, he wasn’t laughing when I got there. Insead he was staring at the sheep. Or more acuratly, where the sheep used to be, and where a huge, collasal, absolutly GINORMOUS Wolf was standing.
I couldn’t help it. I screamed like a two year old that just fell off the swings. Well, wouldn’t you?
Anyway my scream made the Wolf look up. And when it saw me, it grinned like a child on Christmas morning.

(Tell me what you think!!!)
on August 27, 2009 at 8:48 pm whywas6afraidof7? Said:

Haha, this story made me laugh bookworm6! You did a good job of making it sound like my best friend was telling me something funny that happened to her I can’t wait to read the other parts.
whywas6afraidof7?
on August 27, 2009 at 9:13 pm quartergirl5 Said:

bookworm6: ur storys really good!! just a few spellin and gramatical errors but overall its pretty great. i like how ur takin well known stories and addin on to them in a modern way. plz keep writin bc now i wanna kno how the storys gonna end!!
on August 28, 2009 at 10:25 pm bookworm6 Said:

Thank you so much!!! I am so glad y’all like it!!! I’m probaly going to finish it next week, and then I have an idea to do a Snow White story, and how I think it should have ended. I’m a big fan of fairy tales, can’t you tell?
on August 30, 2009 at 7:31 pm 5fanwriter Said:

‘Sup peoples! Been debating whether or not to upload this here, but I finally cracked and said “what do I have to lose?” I’ve been working on this story for about two or three years now, and it still isn’t finished. I’m just going to put up the fist part in two posts to see what y’all think. =)

The chilly night air was blowing steadily as I trudged home. Pulling my hoodie tighter, I began thinking of the day’s earlier occurrances. My brother and Uncle had gotten into a fight about something, but of what I didn’t know. When I’d asked my brother, he said it was “guy stuff” and left it at that. When I pushed for more info, he started shouting about how I should keep my nose out of other’s business. I left before he could say more.
Now it was ten at night and I wanted to sleep. It was stupid to be out so late, especially now that people were starting to disappear. Most of the abductions were in a county a few miles from here, so I didn’t give it much thought. What was strange is that right before the kidnappings started, some new techno-bio lab thing was stationed a few miles from where we lived.
“Hey, kid!” A woman’s voice broke my train of thought. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught the owner of the voice trotting up behind me. Against my better judgement, I stopped to let her catch up. “You dropped these.” She dangled a keychain from her pointer finger. Checking my person, I found she was right. My keys must’ve slipped out of my pocket somehow.
“Um, thanks,” I said, taking the ring slowly.She didn’t really look like a threat. Her dark brown hair was held back, revealing icy blue eyes. She was taller than me, but only because she was wearing heels. The woman wore clothes that gave off a prim and proper air, greatly contrasting my everyday street clothes. “Well, uh, have a nice night.” I turned to leave, only to be stopped by three big bulls of men.
The woman grabbed me from behind and chuckled darkly. “Stupid girl, didn’t your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

More action next time!
on August 31, 2009 at 6:20 pm hi5 Said:

Wow! I absolutely loved the introduction. I felt like I was reading a novel! So much so that when I read on, I envisioned the characters physical features and their personality. I can’t wait to find out what the lab’s role is in the story. You defiantly got my attention. Keep writing!!!!
Hi5
on August 31, 2009 at 7:42 pm 5fanwriter Said:

Thank you Hi5! I’m glad you’re enjoying this so far! Actually, this is sort of an on-going story/novel. I have nine chapters already with number ten in the works. I still don’t think there’s enough description in there, though. Thank you again for your feedback!

5fanwriter <– HA! I put it in this time!
on September 2, 2009 at 4:34 pm route66 Said:

Oh! 5fanwriter! that was amazing! I want to keep reading! I love how you made stopped at that certain part too. kinda like when Mr. Hudson stopped the Twilight Zoneat the good, suspenseful part. I can’t wait to finish reading!
on September 2, 2009 at 5:21 pm justanother5andime Said:

i really hope no one finds out my secret name/ online alter-ego thing, but here it goes. i secretly write all the time, mostly silly little rhymes like this, that i wrote a year and a half ago maybe?

if i had a thousand wishes,
i know just what each would be.
but before i wish away my heart,
tell me, wont you please-
would a thousand wishes be enough to make you love me?
on September 2, 2009 at 5:22 pm flying5irlie78 Said:

5fanwriter! hurry up and put the next installment on here! i am slightly on book withdrawal because i dont have anything new to read! This is really good and i wanna know what happens next! really good!
on September 2, 2009 at 8:21 pm whywas6afraidof7? Said:

justanother5anddime-
aw, this made me smile. I think everyone can relate to it
(:
on September 2, 2009 at 9:12 pm justanother5anddime Said:

whywas6afraidof7?-
thanks so much! i was so chicken to post anything on here.
on September 3, 2009 at 6:51 am professorprodigy6 Said:

Justanother5anddime
Ha. your rhyme was pretty good. I liked the meaning and how it actually flows instead of being a bunch of random words that happen to sound alike.
on September 3, 2009 at 8:03 pm pinky5 Said:

So, I really hope that nobody finds out my secret identity because I only have the guts to post my work on here because nobody will know it’s me. This story is kind of sad, but it’s supposed to be. Writing is a way to express yourself, it’s an escape for me sometimes. Anyways, I hope you like this and it doesn’t depress you too much. I’ll be sure to post something happy ASAP. (: Much love, Pinky5.

She’d done it. She had boxed up her past. Everything he had ever given her was gone, hidden. She had taped it up in a shoe box and placed it carefully out of view in the top of her closet, hopefully never to be seen again. She was ready, ready to forget.
The strong scent of permanent marker burned her nose and made her eyes water as she scratched him out of her world. She sat silently, staring at the menacing black lines that crossed out their names and the little heart doodles on her notebook. She felt lost. He had said forever. He’d promised. But no, forever meant nothing. He’d hurt her.
It was 2:11 am. She just stared blankly at those thick black lines that seemed to taunt her. The truth was, now that he was gone, she was lost. He had been her best friend. She sat quietly, alone and scared in the dark. She couldn’t sleep. She was thinking. Love, she thought. It was such a baffling concept for her. She didn’t like it. The girl was smart, an honors student; she was used to understanding, to knowing what was going on. No, she thought, she didn’t like love at all. A breeze rolled in through her open window and made her shiver. She was sitting on her windowseat in her pajamas, vulnerable to the cold. Stupid girl, she thought to herself as she relived the past seven months of her life. That’s all she was, after all, a stupid girl who fell too hard, too fast. Deep down, she was terrified. A song came on her iPod that reminded her of her situation, he broken heart. Tears filled her eyes. Her insides hurt. She didn’t know what to do. Everyone was asleep, and she felt so alone, she thought she would suffocate. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if she feared she would simply come apart if she let go.
The girl hadn’t told her parents. She knew they’d be angry with her. They wouldn’t understand. All she wanted was for someone to hold her close and tell her everything was going to be alright. No, she thought, not just someone. She wanted it to be him, the boy she loved. Not the boy who had just so recently broken her heart; she couldn’t love him, not after the way he’d treated her. She forced him out of her thoughts. She focused on the boy she was in love with.
The girl left her windowseat and crept silently back to her bed. She curled up under the covers and imagined his arms around her, holding her close. Then, reality set in. He wasn’t there. She wanted to cry out. The girl felt trapped. Her walls were closing in, suffocating her. The girl didn’t want to face her feelings, to face herself. She just wanted sleep. She wanted sleep to come and take away her fear. She couldn’t stand this any longer. The girl crawled out of her bed, put on a jacket over her pajamas, threw on her tennis shoes, and disappeared into the night.
on September 3, 2009 at 8:12 pm pinky5 Said:

To 5Fanwriter:

Okay! That was crazy good! I loved the cliffhanger. (although I am really interested in hearing what happens next ASAP!) (:
I agree with you in the whole “it could be more descriptive” sense, but I still think it’s very good and really well-written. (:
I just thought I should find SOMETHING to critique. I can’t wait to hear what happens next.

-Pinky5
on September 4, 2009 at 4:37 pm justanother5andime Said:

pinky5-
i completly understand about the not wanting to post thing. if this wasnt anoymous there would be no way i would ever post something on here.
your style is great- simple and clean and relatable and its not at all stiff or too structured. and just really good.
on September 4, 2009 at 6:04 pm 5fanwriter Said:

Here’s something to keep you all occupied over labor day weekend.

Okay, know that old saying “don’t judge a book by the cover”? Yeah, perfect example right here. “Now, we can do this the easy, less painful way,” she said, her grip growing tighter, “or you may suffer some unfortunate injuries you’d force me to “treat” at the “hospital”.
“L-l-look lady,” I stuttered. “I don’t want to fight, o-okay? Here, you and your boys can have my money.” I literally ripped my wallet out of my jean pocket and tossed it at the bouncers’ feet. “Heck, take the whole wallet, I don’t need it.”
The woman yanked me close enough so that only I could hear her chilling reply. “It’s not the money I’m after.” That’s when survival mode kicked in. I slammed my head back into her face and tore out of her grip. Without hesitation, I bolted down the dimly-lit street with the men close behind. Any kind of previous instruction of what to do in this stiuation was lost as adrenaline gushed through my system and my heart threatened to beat out of my chest. There had to be some way out of this!
I did the only thing I could think of. “HELP!SOMEONE HELP ME! JUSTIN! JU–” WHUMPH! I came crashing down when an upturned sidewalk section caught my foot. The men yanked me up before I could crawl away. However, the fact they had me didn’t change my mindset. “Get your hands off me! JUSTIN! HELP ME, PLEASE!” I felt pathetic calling for my brother. I knew he couldn’t hear me.
“Calm down, girlie,” one of the men said, snickering.
“Yeah, the Doc ain’t gonna hurt ya too much,” another hissed.
I felt one of the third man’s hands release my arm.
“It’s past your bedtime, chickie,” he laughed. Before I could wonder what he meant, a strange-smelling rag was draped over my mouth and nose. I struggled until my whole world turned black.
on September 4, 2009 at 10:18 pm quartergirl5 Said:

justanother5andime: that poem was really clever. even tho it was a couple lines, it was really profound and had a really good meanin that i think everyone can realte to. keep writin and dont b afraid to put stuff up on here. dont worry my stuff is way worse than urs could ever b:)
quartergirl5
on September 5, 2009 at 11:07 am the6supercoolguy Said:

Hey guys, i wrote this song a week ago and I feel it aplyes to just about anboties life. Well, techniquly I havnt finished it yet but… just let me know what u think about it.

Im not quite sure what Im lookin for
Cause life itself is so much more
than having two kids along with a wife
yea…Id give anything to have a… simple life

A simple life is what i need
i could do anything with the slightest ease
Like standin for myself
lookin in the eye
watchin my temptations just float on by
Ive got, so many things that i need to share
and id be happy to tell you but no on cares…
I want a simple life

-The6supercoolguy
on September 5, 2009 at 2:26 pm bookworm6 Said:

O.K. Here’s the next part of Baby Blue. I’m sorry it took so long, I would have done it last night, but my computer hates me. Review are nice. Just saying.

I totally thought I was gonna die. I mean, my life was flashing before my eyes and everything. Luckily, Eric was able to get some sense back, and before the Wolf was able to make his move, we were out of there.
We kept running until we saw a floppy looking, dull yellow house up ahead. I groaned inwardly. Normally, if I was being chased by a hunger-crazed monster, that house would be the last place I would hide, but, hey, I was desperate.
I should probaly explain. We have some weirdos in our neiborhood, including some talking animals. One of them used to be a family of pigs, a mom and three sons. Eventually, Mama Pig kicked the kids out so they could “make their way out in the real world” but everyone knew it was because she was tired of them eating all her food.
The youngest, Mr. Bobby Pig, was a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal, if you know what I mean. He decides to make his house out of straw.
The middle child, Mr. Billy Pig, was a little bit brighter. He built his house out of sticks. Not wood planks, sticks.
The oldest, Mr. Ferdinand Pig, had the most sense out of the three. He built his house out of bricks, you know, actual building materials?
So, imagine my joy as the first thing Eric and I saw was the supersafe straw house.
“Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, let us come in!” we cried.
“O.K. Give me a minute.”
We burst throught the door, and seconds after we were inside we heard, “Little Pig! Little Pig! Let me come in!”
“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.” (Don’t ask me why he said this, we thought it was odd too.)
O.K, this is gonna sound crazy, but there is really only one way to describe this next part: the Wolf huffed and he puffed and he BLEW THE FREAKIN’ HOUSE DOWN!!! It would have been totally cool if we hadn’t been inside the house. But we were. So we freaked out.
on September 5, 2009 at 10:34 pm pinky5 Said:

The6supercoolguy:

I loved that song. I really really liked it. I hope you post more stuff soon. I think a lot could be done with that song. It would make a great slow, soft, acoustic song. (:
-Pinky5
on September 5, 2009 at 10:38 pm pinky5 Said:

Justanother5andime:
Thank you so much. I usually don’t write stuff that serious, but it was the mood I was in. I loved your poem. It was short, sweet and to the point. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to it.
-Pinky5 (:
on September 7, 2009 at 2:25 am justanother5anddime Said:

ok so my post for this week. i wrote it over the summer. its kind of sad. i really, REALLY hope no one finds out who i am. im kind of scared, but here it goes for a second time.

i know this is only a summer fling
soon youll leave me brokenhearted
and ill pretend it never meant anything

im terrified of your goodbye
still im holding on and denying the truth
hiding behind my comforting lies

i wish you this didnt feel so right
that you would mean nothing to me
but i know youre going to leave
and im a little scared to let you out of sight

but you lean down to kiss me
and i just close my eyes and sigh
try to pretend that when summer ends
i wont miss you and that ill never cry

i know this is only a summer fling
soon youll leave me brokenhearted
and ill pretend it never meant anything

p.s. i was right. he did dump me when summer ended. i sooo called that one.
on September 7, 2009 at 2:39 am justanother5anddime Said:

oops theres a mistake in the second stanza. its supposed to say
“i wish this didnt feel so right”
on September 7, 2009 at 8:56 pm professorprodigy6 Said:

pinky5
That was an amazing story it is so good how you tell the emotions of the character to set the story I cant wait to read more.
on September 7, 2009 at 9:06 pm frogrclogr_5 Said:

justanother5andime:

Your poem was an inspiration to me and i’m sure many others. I can only imagine what was going through your mind when you had the nerve to write this out. I have been in a situation similar to that, but never realized it could be expressed in such a unique way. You put it so simple, yet extremely meaningful. If most of you’re writing is based on this type of topic/subject, please post more as I would thoroughly enjoy reading it. [:

-frogrclogr_5
on September 7, 2009 at 10:55 pm SpBg54321 Said:

so i just went through and read all of these and honestly u guys have some talent. i dont really have a problem with bein shy its more of a lack of creativity when it comes to writing. so i guess im just encouragin all of the more shy people to keep writing and using this thing to express urself and maybe be4 u know it ull be doin it and class and what not…no homo
on September 8, 2009 at 6:50 pm professorprodigy6 Said:

Well I used to write poems a while back and here is one that I always liked.

Those who seek the darkest dark
They will find where I lark
but when earth reaches its darkest hour
Then I reach my full power
But it is all in vain
for soon the light will come again
and the powers of dark will be slain
Or so they say.
on September 8, 2009 at 7:57 pm flying5irlie78 Said:

pinky5…i just got to read your story…i really like it. its something we can all…well most of us…can relate to. its really good keep posting!! justanother5andime…i really like your poems. they aren’t anything elaborate which, i think, makes them even better. the emotion you can convey through such simple poems is very impressing. keep posting!
on September 8, 2009 at 8:23 pm Coolwhip5 Said:

this is and old thing in my family that i really love. My great-Granddad came up with it. i just love it and thought i’d share it.

A woman,
an angel in truth a demon in fiction
a woman’s the greatest of all contradictions
scared of a cockroach scream at mouse
tackle a husband big as a house,
she’ll take him for better take him for worse
split open his head then be his nurse,
then when he’s well and get outta bed
she’ll pick up a teapot and throw it at his head,
faithful, deceitful, keensighted, and blind,
she’s crafty, she’s simple, she’s cruel, she’s kind,
she’ll fancy she’s this, she’ll find out she’s that,
she’ll play like a kitten, and fight like a cat,
in the morning she will, the evening she wont,
you’re always expecting, she will but she wont
on September 8, 2009 at 8:30 pm pinky5 Said:

Thank you guys for the positive comments, it’s encouraged me to post more of my story. Hope you like it. (:

She woke up. The girl wasn’t sure how long she had been gone, or when she fell asleep. It was almost morning. The sky was a beautiful shade of grey, with pink along the edges. She smiled tyo herself. The girl felt at peace here. She sat up on the ground and shivered slightly as an early morning breeze rippled through the forest, whispering secrets that only she could hear. The girl wanted to stay there for forever. She got up off the ground, stretched, and began her long trip back home.
That night was even worse than the previous one. Last night, the girl had finally fallen asleep, her face tear-stained and her mind and body exhausted. She thought she was doing everything okay. All day long she talked to him, the boy she loved, and she was happy. But no, happiness rarely stayed in her life for long periods of time. Her mother had become angry and appalled when the girl had asked to got to the movies with him tomorrow. She was forced to sit and listen to her mother talk about every flaw the girl had. She had listened silently, tears sliding slowly down her face.One by one, the rolled down her face; there seemed to be one for every flaw that was pointed out to her. What stung the worst was that the girl had been trying to do better. It had gone unnoticed. It always went unnoticed. Face it, she thought to herself, you are never going to please them. Her mother’s last words came out icily. “It isn’t good enough.” That got her. Those words burned inside the girl. She just wanted the criticism to end. Then, the girl made a mistake. She tried to defend herself. She regretted it instantly. As usual, her mother took the girl’s simple words the wrong way. Enraged, her mother took the girl’s phone, her communication with him, away and sent the girl to her room.
The girl ran from the table, tears streaming down her face, a huge lump in her throat. She closed her door and collapsed onto her bed. Her body shook violently with sobs. The girl held onto her sides for dear life, trying to hold herself together. Her breaths came in short, painful gasps. SHe cried so hard that every part of her ached. She was numb, empty, and her eyes burned. Oh, God, she thought, please make me the girl they want, the girl they’ll be proud of. The only sound in the girl’s darkening room was the sound of her broken sobs. She had tried talking to her parents about him, about how she liked him, about how she just wanted to be with him. They didn’t understand, of course. They didn’t approve. She had known they wouldn’t understand. Oh, God, how it hurt her. She wanted him so badly. Again, she broke into gut-wrenching sobs. Her pillow muffled the sound of her broken heart. Her parents didn’t want them to be together, just like everybody else.
The girl’s shoulders shook violently, and she hugged herself, trying to contain her sadness. She was ready to give up. Nothing she could do worked. The girl had tried to change for the better, trying to mend friendships, trying to be a better daughter, everything. Nothing had worked. He was what made her happy, and they had taken him away. She had stopped crying. Her body was exhausted and her eyes and throat burned. The girl, her face empty and stained with tears, moved silently across her room to her windowseat.
She stared with blank eyes at the darkening sky. Oh, how she wished to be with him. He treated her like she was something special, like she was the best. He didn’t find her “not good enough”. Her mother’s words were taunting her, tearing her down. She hated herself for letting those words get to her and, even worse, for fearing that they might be true.

More later. Much love,
Pinky5 (:
on September 9, 2009 at 7:26 pm justanother5andime Said:

Every day since I was six, I’ve had to watch her, radiantly beautiful, and swallow my bile. You will never know how hard it is to see her, perfect and composed, stealing the hearts of any man, woman, or demon to cross her path. Even the rodents and the horses are impartial to her.
Yet I know what hides behind her sweet face, blue eyes, and golden locks. I know that she murdered her father, my darling step father, although what she thought to gain from killing him, heaven only knows; he, like the rest of the world she has besotted and bewitched, thought her the incarnation of beauty and goodness. But I saw her pour the poison! I, and my sister and dear mother know that she killed him, however perfect she might seem to the rest of the world. She broke my mothers heart, and the three of us do our best to make sure that the murderous wench gets her due every day of her life. Sis and I begged Mother to turn her in, but the only thing my mother cares more for than her late husband- God rest his murdered soul- is reputation; it has been her lifes dream to see the two of us well and happily married, though we are not beautiful as she.Still, she dines with the servants, cleans like a peasent, and wears rags, all in the hopes that she will wither away into ugliness and remorse. Still, even with her goden hair pulled back from her face, in her rags, sometimes when I see her, I freeze at the angelic beauty of her , eaten alive with jealousy and stunned into admiration.

While the rest of the world may think her so radiantly beautiful and good, Mother, Sister, and I know that Cinderella is a murderous, heartless, and undeniably beautiful wench.

p.s. in case i didnt make it exceptionally clear, this is the story of cinderella from one of the ugly stepsisters point of veiw. i twisted the story around a little to try to make the character more realistic nad less harsh.
on September 9, 2009 at 7:33 pm justanother5andime Said:

coolwhip5-
that is really funny,cute, and i like the rhyme scheme, and its just really good. :}
on September 9, 2009 at 10:12 pm Coolwhip5 Said:

thanks justanother5anddime , and i’m gonna come up with something on the spot here so…. yeah.

Everything is silent,
except the ticking clock.
the hands spin faster and faster,
because time has no master.

Time is different in my head,
will it change or will it end?
listening to words that others have said,
i begin to comprehend.

Some things will never change.
some things will never stop changing.
while others rearrange,
some things continue ageing
on September 10, 2009 at 9:11 pm Purple5 Said:

Um. This is just something I wrote the other day. Here goes.

My eyes are the clouds,
My cheeks are the ground,
It never stops raining here.
I see the world through a wall of water,
It covers the trees, the sky, the buildings, and the people.
They swim around like the fish of the sea.
The water covers everything,
The water IS everything.
Oceans in my eyes,
Rivers down my face,
Raindrops in the air,
Puddles on my shirt.
It’s everywhere,
And it just keeps coming.
The people will just keep swimming,
The sky will just keep floating,
The buildings will just keep soaking,
And the trees will just keep swaying.

And it will always keep raining.
on September 12, 2009 at 4:26 pm It'sMe!5 Said:

this has been in my head for a while now.
i guess it is time for it to leave.
i’m afraid if i write it down,
if i take this chance,
and put down in words what i feel,
you will start to think differently of me.
if i tell you how much i like you,
will you run?
if i tell you when i see you i feel so nervous i cannot speak,
will you never come again because you think i’m a freak?
if i tell you when i hugged you for the first time, i was happy for hours,
will you think i fall too quickly?
well, it’s too late now,
the words are here,
but you are not.
may be this was a mistake,
but is a chance i had to take.

this was one of the first attempts of mine at writing. i don’t know how good it was. i’m just happy that this is anonymous. it is funny that i am nervous and you don’t even know how i am.
on September 12, 2009 at 6:27 pm pinky5 Said:

Purple5:
That was amazing. I just… wow. I think everyone can relate to that. People have their ups and downs. I think your post is a great description of how we feel when we’re down. It was amazing.

It’sMe!5:
I really liked your post, as well. I think a lot of the people who posted their creative writing felt this way. I know I did. It’s scary to put yourself out there. That was really good.

-Pinky5
on September 12, 2009 at 6:57 pm route66 Said:

It’sMe!5-

I reallly liked your poem. It’s amazing how sometimes I feel like that too. I think you should continue writing because its really amazing
on September 12, 2009 at 11:12 pm hi5 Said:

pinky5:
Very nice story! I loved, loved, loved your introduction! I just have one request… use more complex and compound sentences. If you have a variety of sentence structure it will keep your audience reading. Simple sentences are good in the right places, you just have to keep a look out for when one is needed.
Hi5
on September 13, 2009 at 12:47 pm Purple5 Said:

Pinky5-
Thanks. I wasn’t really sure about putting it up here. I usually don’t write stuff like that. But I had a really rough couple of days, and I sat down and just wrote it. I’m glad you liked it.
on September 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm Jane5 Said:

I wrote this about someone I miss. Sooo…ok here it is:
“Gone”
Something is not right
I know this to be true
Something is missing
That something is you

Something is not right
In my mind I roam
And then late at night
It really hits home

I’m losing your image
I’m missing your smile
Your wonderful laughter
Is gone for a while

I’ll see you again
In splender so bright
But until that day
Something is not right
September 10, 2009
on September 13, 2009 at 9:16 pm the6supercoolguy Said:

wow, that was a really great poem! I liked it alot! You must be very talented, haha I can never write poems because i have a hard time rhymeing things. Even tho i wrote part of a song it took me a very long time to come up with the lyrics.
on September 14, 2009 at 9:33 am justanother5andime Said:

ode to procrastination

i know i should be writing
but schoolwork i am spiting
sitting here wasting time
im really feeling quite sublime
i know ill pay for this later
i always was a second rater
but its something of a talent i think
to be able to forget the stress and into procrastination sink
so do your work if you please
ill sit here and have fun being a sleaze.
on September 14, 2009 at 8:16 pm pinky5 Said:

justanother5andime:
That’s like the story of my life! Hahah. Your ode to procrastination is like the summary of teenage life. It made me smile. I can’t wait to read more from you!

-Pinky5
on September 14, 2009 at 9:40 pm It'sMe!5 Said:

Thanks you guys! Its still never racking to post anything here!

I just have to say, everyone who has posted is now my hero. Ya’ll are posting some great things. Please keep writing everyone.
on September 16, 2009 at 8:38 pm route66 Said:

Jane5

Wow. that was amazing. You have a gift. I hope you continue to write great poems. You’ll definitely go far in life. maybe you can tutor me in not sucking at writing poems haha
on September 20, 2009 at 5:40 pm Jane5 Said:

Ha thanks guys! Ok, heres another one but its not as direct.
Memory:
Visions
Memoirs of my past
Flashes of light and color
Scraps of sound
A stormy gust of wind,
Knocking the breath from my lungs,
Arousing the scent of forgotten lore
Disrupting the daze of ongoing chaos
Dreams of torturing nostalgia
Swarm my mind
Pangs of what once was,
Like the icy streets in May
Choking out beat by beat
Longing for what was to be
Engulfs me
Arriving at a minutes’ notice,
And lingering for a while
Coming to and fro
Then playing the role
Of the waning
Crecent moon
Apparitions visit me
Until Decembers end
on September 20, 2009 at 6:40 pm 5fanwriter Said:

It’sMe!5

Your peom describes a number of people on here. None of us know how others would look at us if they really knew who we were. It’s pretty amazing to see what some of us are capable of writing outside of class. And don’t worry, you’ll get used to putting stuff up here, just give yourself time. I agree we all have some great skills as writers!
on September 20, 2009 at 8:44 pm hi5 Said:

Justanother5andime:
That is so true!!! I think every AHS student needs to read that! It is witty, clever, and truthful. I, as well as everyone else who read it, really enjoyed it. Wonderful job!!!
Hi5
on September 20, 2009 at 9:19 pm the6supercoolguy Said:

oh geez! That poem isthe storyof my freaking life! I wish that it wasnt true but it is, and theres nothing ican do about it. Well, actually Im sure theres alot i can do about it but i dont try hard enough to do so. But isnt it funny how you will procrasinate in things that you dont find interesting at all but you dont when you really get into it and enjoy it.
on September 20, 2009 at 9:35 pm whywas6afraidof7? Said:

Purple5,
Holy cow!!!! That was really good Please post more poems in the future, because I would love to read them
whywas6afraidof7?
on September 20, 2009 at 10:43 pm SpBg54321 Said:

im pretty much on this page just to see what all people are puttin up and i gotta agree with It’sMe!5when they said theres some real good post up so yeah i guess just keep doin what ur doin. and i figure this person is probably posting on here just cause of who they are so here goes “Earth is blue and Pluto is far as Mr.hughes would say play from the heart” – wouldnt u like to know
on September 21, 2009 at 4:50 pm Purple5 Said:

Justanother5andtime-

I was going back through and reading a lot of the posts that I missed, and I saw your post about the thousand wishes, and it was so cute! It made me smile. Good work!

-Purple5
on September 21, 2009 at 4:57 pm Purple5 Said:

whywas6afraidof7?-

Ha, thanks. But I’m not really sure if I’ll be posting any more. I’m really not that much of a writer. That was just something random that I thought of in Geometry. Lol. So don’t be upset if nothing else of mine gets posted. But as soon as I write something else and decide to put it up there, I’ll let you know.

-Purple5
on September 21, 2009 at 6:53 pm pinky5 Said:

Jane5-
OHMYGOODNESSGRACIOUS!
That poem was amazing! It’s amazing! It makes sense. It’s relateable. I love it so so much. You have some major talent. Keep posting. (:

-Pinky5
on September 21, 2009 at 7:07 pm It'sMe!5 Said:

Jane5,

Your poem was so good! How you spoke of memories was so vivid it made me think of some of my own. I really liked it. The way each line was a statement by itself, but each built on itself. You are quite a talented writer. Please keep posting.
on September 21, 2009 at 7:20 pm flying5irlie78 Said:

okay so there are lots of these i want to reply to…

Jane5. please keep posting! your poems are really amazing and reading them is a blessing. this must really be a way to get feelings out cause these are so filled with emotion.

justanother5andtime. ahhh i really like your poems and stories. i think i already said how much you amaze me earlier but again YOU AMAZE ME!

anyone who is posting on here. its really cool reading these because i have no talent at writing at all. so keep postng!
on September 21, 2009 at 10:16 pm Coolwhip5 Said:

Purple5,

i will be upset if your stuff doesnt get posted again. you are very talented and if YOU dont wanna post your stuff, give it to me so it gets up here somehow. we obviously have the same class, so talk to me
on September 22, 2009 at 10:40 pm Jane5 Said:

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the encouragement! Purple5- I really liked your poem! It has good feeling in it. The structure and repetition are awesome. It was cool how you compared natural elements to your emotions. Thanks again everybody, I’ll probably be posting something on here later this week.
on September 23, 2009 at 5:04 pm Jane5 Said:

This still needs work. It doesn’t have rhyme, or good structure, and it doesn’t even have good depth, but it has truth:

“I Dance for You”
You are my strength
You are my reason
I long to see your smile again
For in the darkness of the night
You linger there
Just out of sight

You give me hope
You gave me love
In my memory I see you dance
Softly in circles

You held me tight
Our arms entwined
We danced together
All through the night

I see you laugh
As I laugh with you
I see your hair
Twist around in curls

You bring tears to my eyes
And a smile to my face
You gave me honor
And self-respect
A way to see the light of day

Your presence was a gift
I did not know to treasure
More
Better

In the darkness of the night
Nights of cold and winters strife
You kept me warm
Under your watch
Your watchful eye kept me from harm

You gave me your life
I give you mine
My love is yours
I smile for you
I live for you

I dance for you
on September 24, 2009 at 8:50 pm THEGAME05 Said:

i write for fun, a lot of people dont believe me. they say im not that type of person. but just to prove it here is a poem written by none other than yours truely.

could you give me a reason why?
why did you leave me lonely?
my life is just rushing by,
you’re not just my love your my homie.

im so tired of being left out
why do you ignore me?
to get your attention do i have to shout?
i want you to look at me, i want you to see

you hurt me more than i deserve,
how can you be so cruel?
i love you more than you deserve,
why am i such a fool?

i wish you knew how i really felt,
when i heard your voice my heart would melt.
my pulse would start to race,
everytime i saw your face.

now you treat me like im nothing, like our relationship wasnt real,
but in truth there was something.
i wish you knew how this makes me feel.

it feels like the world is colapsing,
surrounding me in darkness,
with no way to tell if time is lapsing.
all i want to feel is happiness.

i know this poem isnt all that great, and it has a cheesy rhyme scheme. i wrote it last year for one of my friends who was angry at her significant other…. let me know what you think….. por favor….
on September 26, 2009 at 4:52 pm justanother5anddime Said:

hi5, pinky5, purple5, flying5irle78-
thanks for the positive feedback!
on September 27, 2009 at 12:47 pm route66 Said:

justanother5anddime

That was so amaing. Summer flings are the worse and i think you’re very brave for putting this on here if it actually happened to you
on September 27, 2009 at 6:20 pm pinky5 Said:

Hey guys. You know that happy story I said I’d post? Here goes. (It’s kind of cheesey, but I think all girls can relate to it because it’s what every girl wants falling in love to be like. (: )

It was summer. The gentle breeze blew her hair out of her face. He put his arms around her and held her close. She smiled up at the sky and let the sun warm her face. This was perfect. They talked until it got dark. He told her jokes, and she laughed until she cried. He was her everything, and she was his. They were going to last forever. Not everyone was happy with them being together, but none of that mattered to them. They belonged to each other, and they were happy. They were in love. The sun set, and the stars came out. Wrapped in blankets, they lay under the stars, not saying a word. Sometimes, nothing needs to be said, and sometimes, there is simply nothing to say. This was one of those times. He held her close, and they fell asleep. They woke up in time to see the sun rise slowly over the horizon, painting the sky different shades of pink and grey that slowly faded into blue. She leaned against his shoulder, and he gently kissed her forehead. She smiled to herself. She didn’t know much about the future, but she was certain of one thing; they were going to last forever.

-Pinky5 (:
on September 27, 2009 at 10:41 pm SpBg54321 Said:

dont know if this counts as creative writing but its worth a shot and if it doesnt work ill know for next time.
but pretty much ive deciced to list questions tht have been pondered throughout the ages
1.What happens if u say no when ur getting sworn into court?
2.if everything taste like chicken what does chicken taste like?
3.why do people call beans the magical fruit if they’re vegatables
4.y do parents say “this is gonna hurt me more than its gonna hurt u” when we all know thts a lie
5.are there interstate highways in hawaii?
6.do mailmen deliver their own mail?
7.how would u describe the word “that”
8.do chinese people get english words tattoed on themselves?
9.if its not butter, then what is it?
10.who decided makin a computer virus would be a fun time/good idea?
11.ok and the last one, why does it matter if john jacob jinglehymer smith has the same name as u? what if when the peolp are shouting they actually want ur attention and not the other guys?
on September 28, 2009 at 6:56 pm pinky5 Said:

spbg54321-
Haha! That made me laugh out loud. (Mostly because I’ve actually wondered about all of those myself!) I dont know if that’s creative writing or not, but those burning questions keep me up at night. Maybe Mr. Hudson can enlighten us. Hahaha. Hope to hear more from you. (:

-Pinky5
on September 28, 2009 at 7:09 pm Coolwhip5 Said:

SpGb54321,

those are some interesting questions you got there.
i only got #3. beans are called magical fruit because fruit rhymes with toot, and toot is used in the rhyme
on October 1, 2009 at 3:56 pm THEGAME05 Said:

dear justanother5anddime,
i really liked your “silly little rhme”. i write longer things, but short and sweet=powerful…. it speaks to me…. thank you for sharing it… i personaly would like for you to share some more of your little poems… if you like….
on October 2, 2009 at 6:07 pm hi5 Said:

Justanother5andtime:
Your poem about wishing your heart away was really good. I think everyone has/will feel like that. It was a good read that sounds like it should be in a book like “Falling up” or something!
Hi5
on October 3, 2009 at 10:50 am bookworm6 Said:

Alright, its been a while but I just wanted to finally finish this story. So here it is, the final installment of Baby Blue.

Naturally, we started running again, until we came across, you guessed it, Mr. Billy Pig’s stick house. Once again we were desperate so we stoped and pounded on his door. “MR. PIG! MR. PIG! LET US COME IN!”
“Relax, I’m comin’. Gosh, kids these days…”
Minutes later we are FINALLY inside. We think it’s safe. I mean, its a little harder to get inside a house made of sticks than a house made of straw right?
Wrong.
Almost immediatly after we’re inside we hear “LITTLE PIG! LITTLE PIG! LET ME COME IN!”
“N..Na…Not by t.. th…the hair on my ch… chiny…chin chin!” (Seriously, is that, like, a pig thing?”
I held my breath and waited for the Wolf to blow the house down again, but instead, it just opened the door. I’m honestly not sure what scared me more, the fact that a PIG of all animals would think it’d be safe to leave the door unlocked after letting in three people who were being chased by a Wolf, or the fact that a Wolf aparently has aposible thumbs.
So we start running again, and this time we get to Mr. Ferdinand Pig’s brick house. Except this time we just walked in, instead of goim=ng through the whole “let me in!” junk agsin. It kinda freaked Mr. Ferdinand Pig out, but then he saw the Wolf and was cool with it.
Minutes later, we hear “LITTLE PIG! LITTLE PIG! LET ME COME IN”
Mr. Ferdinand Pig stares at the door for a minute, thinks about it and says, “No.”
We hear a huff, and a puff, and blew the house down! Except the house didn’t blow down. It just stayed there, like a house is suppposed to. I was impressed.
I think the Wolf then got frustrated, ’cause then it started to blow even harder and eventually started coughing.
For a moment we thought it had given up, but then we heard something crawling on the roof. Obviously, we started screaming and running around in circles and doing other things that people do when they are panicing. All of us, except Mr. Ferdinand Pig, who gets a caldron, fills it up with water, and sticks it over a fire under the chimney. Soon enough, a furry foot slinks down and dips its toe in the now boiling water. Then comes a loud yelping shriek, and that Wolf is gone! And I’ll tell you now, that Wolf never stuck its ugly fsce around here, ever again.
Alright, so this is the end of the story, and I’m pretty sure that I’m supposed to give a moral or something. I could tell you not to talk to strangers, or to not call for help when no one is around, or if you’re going to build something, don’t use junk materials. But frankly, you guys have heard that before. So I’m just going to give this little piece of advise: If there is ever a giant, flesh-eating, wolf monster around, remember to lock your door.
on October 3, 2009 at 9:23 pm 5fanwriter Said:

Hey guys, it’s me! I haven’t posted in like, what, two weeks? Anywho, here’s the next part in my story. Oh, btw, I kinds had to rewrite this and dull it down to PG so it could go up here, just thought ya might want to know.

I came to to the sound of a heart monitor beeping slowly away. It became torture when my head started to throb to its beat. However, when my eyes fully adjusted to the room, the headache became the least of my problems.
I was strapped to a thinly lined gurney in the middle of what looked like some sort of exam room. The walls were a sickly green color with small overhead cabinets lining one side of left wall. Under them was a counter with several covered trays on its top. There was some sort of x-ray viewing thing right behind me, and I had to strain just to see it.
No, no, no, no, this WASN’T happening! This wasn’t real, this was someone’s idea of a sick joke. I was asleep and soon I’d wake up, back in my bed with my brother snoring down the hall and my uncle watching TV downstairs.
The door on the right opened with a creak and my guts twisted with fear. A white lab coat partially hid her clothes,her hair wans’t held up as tightly, but her eyes hadn’t changed. No, those cold blue eyes bore into my shaking form. I couldn’t look at her as she almost sauntered over to the gurney.
“I’m surprised you’ve come around so quickly,” she said, her voice nearly praiseful. The woman put her hand under my jaw and forced me to look at her. “Though that may become a problem later on.”
I yanked my head out of her grip. “Don’t touch me!” I wanted to sound angry or some emotion near it, but the heart monitor betrayed me. It picked up the pace. “Keep your hands off me!”
“A little excitable, aren’t you?” She gave a short sigh and walked over to the counter, taking the cover off one of the trays. I thought I saw something glint as she put on gloves and grab a few things out of the tray. The monitor went wild as she walked back over.
When you’re staring down the needle of a syringe in some wako’s hand, the tough-guy attitude kind of goes out the window. The woman pulled over a rolling chair and sat down, swabbing the crook of my arm.
“Wait, wait, wait!” I exclaimed. She pulled the syringe’s dangerously close needle away from my arm and glanced at me. “You can’t seriously be thinking no one’s gonna come looking for me, or anyone else here, if I’m thinking right. People are gonna find a link between this place and the kidnappings. What’ll you do when the cops storm this place, huh? Think you’re so smart now?”
“In a few weeks, the person named Emmilia Anderson Johnson won’t exist,” she purred, an eerie edge in her voice. Before I could wonder how she knew my name or what she meant, she jabbed the syringe’s needle into my arm before I could protest. Whatever its contents was burned as it oozed into my bloodstream. “We still need to run a few tests. This will help you relax, but you won’t feel the full affect for a few minutes.”
RELAX?! I didn’t want to relax! I wanted to scream, cry, curse, anything that might save me from this place! I wanted out, OUT!
“Why?” I managed to sqeak as a fog started to form over my mind.
Once again, the woman turned to me with a quizzical look on her face. “”Why” what?”
“Why are you doing this to me?!” My speech was begining to slur, and shouting made it worse. “What are you going to do to me? Can’t I at least know that? Please?!”
She had a sickening grin on her face when she put a gloved and on my shoulder, sending a chill down my spine. “Oh, but where’s the fun in that?”

5fanwriter
on October 4, 2009 at 4:07 pm quartergirl5 Said:

bookworm6:
ur story is really cute. lookin back and readin ur story as a whole it really flows from story to story. u started out original and put funny little comments all throughout the beginning. i wish u had put a little more of ur own ideas into the end of it bc it almost seemed like u were rushin and copied down the original 3 little pigs. like u said, weve heard this story a million times. i think it would have been really cool if u had made a twist at the end that no one would see coming. but i did like at the end ur little made up “moral”. that was original. take that a put it into the rest of the 3 little pigs part. but keep writing bc ur stuff is WAY better than anything i could write. dont give up:)
-quartergirl5
on October 4, 2009 at 8:00 pm It'sMe!5 Said:

Jane5:

That was so good! Please keep writing. I get where you come from, whenever I do anything, it is usually in dedication. Many can relate to this I think. Your phrases were short, but they were got a lot told. I’m looking forward to more from you.

It’sMe!5
on October 4, 2009 at 8:08 pm SpBg54321 Said:

haha thanks coolwhip5 i dont think i coulda figured tht one out myself, how bout answering number 2 and yeah i agree with u pinky5 mr hud should answer these
on October 4, 2009 at 8:34 pm jugaralbeisbol5 Said:

this is a poem i wrote based on a how we are easily influenced by the world today

i look in your in eyes and see nothing but sorrow
murder, lust, and nothing for me to borrow
do you hear the Lord calling your name?
leading you to greener pastures before its too late?
you wrap yourself in the temptations of life
showing Lucipher how you adore him
can you hear the devil calling your name?
leading you into death, torture, more sorrow and pain?
its never too late to turn from the gates of Hell
for your second chance never runs out
but, WILL YOU BE OBEDIENT? OR BE SUCKED BACK INTO LIFE?

jugaralbeisbol5
on October 4, 2009 at 8:34 pm jane5 Said:

professorprodigy6:
I really loved your poem. Its cool how the reader isn’t sure if the writer is talking about themself or someone/something else. The last stanza is awesome with the sudden conclusion. I like how it adds some doubt with the line “Or so they say,” and how you added a period only on that line. It has a dark, sinister mood that is tempting yet dangerous. It also sounds as if whomever the writer is refering to isn’t entirely proud of what they are. The writing reminds me of some of Robert Frost’s work. Its really good and you could probably get it published. Please continue to write wonderful poems!:)
on October 4, 2009 at 9:45 pm the6supercoolguy Said:

Since no songs that I like hae been posted yet i thought id put a little somthing my own.

Im not quite sure what im looking for
cause life itself is so much more
than having two kids…along with a wife
id give anything for a simple life

yea, a simple life is what i need
i could do anything with the slightest ease
like standin for my self
lookin in the eye watch my temptation just float on by
ive got, so many things that i need to share
and id be happy to tell you but know one cares
i want a simple life
on October 5, 2009 at 5:10 pm justanother5andime Said:

so its been a while since i posted anything here, but, since ive gotten some postivie feeback, here it goes again. its a little long, but its still just another of my silly little rhymes.

take me home

im tierd of these blistering august days:
the stress and the mess all shimering under heat waves.
dont know how much longer i can last, im weary to the bone
so just take my hand and walk me home
to rainy days, sweat pants, and chinese food,
give me some time to think, and a little solitude.
hot chocoloate, old movies, and nothing to do,
and a few more days to waste with you.
lets stay there buried at home and take a lease
on a little bit of borrowed, blissful, quiet peace,
forget the world and just relax, and take some time to just be
sleep in and try living in our own realm, isolated blissfully.
but somehow i dont think we could survive buried at home
as happy as we might be living peacefully on our own.
alarm clocks are hard to ignore,
and we both know the world wont stop because were sore.
still on these blistering august days,
its comforting to think of home and close my eyes,
imagine you and i spending the time at home far away
and sap some strength from those peaceful lies.
on October 5, 2009 at 5:16 pm justanother5andime Said:

supercool6guy-
i love the first stanza of your poem! i completly understand not wanting the cookie cutter american life:a nine to five, kids and husband/wife.
on October 5, 2009 at 8:48 pm 5fanwriter Said:

To bookworm6

Okay, I promised I’d read this, and let me tell you. I’m so glad I did! Everyone’s heard of the three little pigs, little red riding hood and the boy who cried wolf, but I’ve never heard of someone put them all together. You’ve taken something old and made it into something new. I really like how it’s written like someone talking to their friend, like whywas6afraidof7 said earlier.”A few fries short of a Happy Meal” I almost lol’d.
on October 7, 2009 at 8:27 pm peetie5 Said:

justanother5andime,

I was reading this page for the first time after sucessfully avoiding it for many weeks. You don’t know who i am, but if you did you’d know why. Writing is a love of mine, comfort, truth, simple complexity as they say. I tend to lock up until forced to produce a writing for public eyes. Even then I’m hesitant. Knowing that might help you understand why I’ve yet to release a work of mine on this page. Also, it might behoove you to know that I foolishly believed that there was a slim chance that there would actually be any writing worth reading here. I can gladly admitt that i was terribly wrong. Your posts have set a bar to be reached, a goal to strive towards, and, for many, the inspiration they need to start. I’m rambling on to come down to this final conclusion. I will be posting a poem of my own on this page very soon. I write to both acknowledge the artistic genius of your posts, most recently “Take Me Home,” and to ask you please for your opinion on a poem of my own. Again, thank you for contributing to this page and inspiring me to make the decision to open my own poems.

Posting Soon,
peetie5
on October 8, 2009 at 6:15 pm hi5 Said:

The6supercoolguy:
I love yor poem! What makes it so unique is how laid back it is. I like the lack of the letter “g”. Awesome job!
Hi5
on October 8, 2009 at 9:07 pm THEGAME05 Said:

peetie5,

i understand about you passion for writing. i truely do, but i do enjoy sharing my works. (sometimes) the works that i do share arent personal, and the ones that i dont share i hide from everyone but me. they stay hidden there until (after i have kept things bottled up) i explode and need an emotional release and need to read somthing. i dont know why i do that.
sincerely,
the game05

i have the strange urge to write a short story and post it on here, but i need a topic… if anyone has any suggestions about what i can write about or what you want me to write about just let me know… thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
on October 8, 2009 at 9:26 pm THEGAME05 Said:

5fanwrite,
i know this might sound a little creepy, but here goes… i read you last story post out of curiosity. after that i went through this part of the blog looking for stuff you have written (story wise). and to tell you the truth, i absolutely love your story. i dont think i could write something like that if i tried. i totaly look forward to reading more!!!!!
sincerely,
THEGAME05
on October 8, 2009 at 9:47 pm peetie5 Said:

Back again, and this time with a contribution of my own. I can almost guarantee its real purpose will remain a mystery to most. I will admit, however, that it began as a poem of singular purpose and grew into a much deeper, wider meaning, as life does take its turns. Asking please for not only your opinion but your interpretation as well. It is title less, fault of the lack of vocabulary to grasp such a thing. I may analyze it later, depending on the opinions of others. Then again, I can’t promise anything. I may not. Take it for what it is, my own truth.

Asking myself
Now
To find the words
To say

For that of mouth
Encrypted doubt
The meaning
Lost the way

But stutter tries
Amongst the lies
Did meet your eyes
Then fell

Less breath in love
In hidden verse
The words I long
To tell

Again I turn
To quench the burn
To write
The only true

And from your lips
My silent script
“Words written unto you”

peetie5
on October 8, 2009 at 10:06 pm bookworm6 Said:

5fanwriter:

I’m not happy with you right now. If I come to school tommorrow half-asleep, it’s because your little clifffhanger you pulled on us is keeping me up wondering what’s going to happen. So update, like, ASAP.

(Also thank you for your review for my story. I actually didn’t like the way it ended, because I was kind of rushing and didn’t really add anything to the Three Little Pigs part of the story. The next one is going to have a lot more “me” in it.)
on October 9, 2009 at 6:41 pm jane5 Said:

Peetie5,
Your poem was… I can’t even describe it, Im just speechless. It was just AWESOME. When I began to read it I knew it was going to be good. You really have a talent for rhyme and structure. By the time I was reading the last stanza it almost had me in tears! I have an idea of the meaning behind it, but not wanting to spoil it, I think I’ll leave it a mystery. The way you word it, its almost hard to believe. You should definately continue to write. I’ll look for more of your poems on here!
on October 9, 2009 at 7:01 pm jane5 Said:

5fanwriter:
Woah. I havent really looked into the stories until now. Your story is really good! The suspense is killing me! I am definately going to go back and read the beginning. I can’t wait for your next post!
on October 9, 2009 at 9:51 pm SpBg54321 Said:

the story of my friday nights unfrotunatly

Being so spiritless u count ceiling tiles
Only wishing tht u could be doing something…anything
Remaining in one place for so long u collect dust
Entering post on the blog
Doomed to stay ths way till saturday night rolls aroun

hey acronyms are poems too and poems fit on the creative writing page
on October 10, 2009 at 12:18 pm pinky5 Said:

Stuck between a a little girl and an adult.
Do they see the real me?
Does ANYONE?

Wanting them to notice.
To hear them laugh at MY jokes again.
Aching. Longing.

So long ago, it seems
We laughed and stayed up all night.
It continues now, miuns one.

One really is
The loneliest number.
When you want your friends again.

That one is me,
The loneliest number.
Try as hard as I may to hide.

It may never go back.
Return to how it was.
That’s okay.

Through borken friendships,
Old love was rediscovered.
Maybe it wasn’t for the worst.

People change.
Feelings change.
Nothing is certain anymore.

One minute here.
The next there.
After that, you’re gone.

Live it up.
Have no regrets.
Love deeply.

Maybe, you’ll surprise yourself.
It might be better
Than you ever imagined.

-Pinky5
on October 10, 2009 at 12:28 pm justanother5anddime Said:

petite5-
sorry it took me so long to reply- from week to week when i make my posts, i generally completly forget about the blog. and thank you so much for your praise. but i think artistic genius is a bit much; im just a girl who loves silly little rhymes and writing in general. i understand and i think i can match your passion for writing. i would never post the majority of the things i write, just silly little rhymes, and even those i couldnt bear to post without the online alter ego thing, but i write alot and i love it. a rainy day, some paper, and a pen is the incarnation of peace. writing when things are bad is like eating chicken noodle soup when youre sick. and i read your post and i am beyond impressed. actually im a little jealous of your rhyme scheme- its subtle and very very good, for lack of a better description. i always try for a more sophisticated rhyme scheme like the one in your poem but i always end up with a more elementary ABABAB type scheme. and your poem had another dimension, something i think most people strive for. your poem was stunning. please post again.
yours
justanother5anddime
on October 11, 2009 at 12:30 pm route66 Said:

Pinky5-

that was so cute it was like a little slice of “The Notebook” pie I enjoyed reading it, and i wish i had a summer like that. ahh it’d be perfect
on October 11, 2009 at 6:41 pm It'sMe!5 Said:

SpBg54321:

That was really good. It was simple but still got a point across. You were bored. I like how it was both funny and depressing at the same time. I did not even notice the acronym part until the note at the bottom, so I guess it does belong.

It’sMe5!
on October 12, 2009 at 6:19 pm THEGAME05 Said:

so im totalw going to make this up off the top of my head… (sorry about the disclaimer mrs.fisher)

through all lifes struggles and pains
we all have something we stand to gain.

some lessons are taught by walking out,
and some by walking in.

thats the story of my life.
every single in and out.

all the sweet hellos
led to bitter goodbyes.

the sweetest hello,
happrns to be yours.

the hardest goodbye
will always be his.

his leaving taught me
to hide all signs of weakness.

you have taught me
to not be afraid of weakness.

i no longer run from weaknesses
and hide behind fake strength,

for my weakness is you,
and i would never run from you.

i am ot afriad of you,
i am afraid for you.

afraid for your safety,
and afraid of you walking away.

the end…. that was totaly random… i just had the urge to write that…. i hope you like it…. (f.y.i. the you is my bf and the he is my dad… !!!!!!)
on October 12, 2009 at 6:23 pm THEGAME05 Said:

btw….. i still need a story idea…. i got nothin…. !!!!!!!!!!!! so any ideas are welcome… and i will try to write about all of them….. even flying monkeys in the circus… if thats what you want…..
on October 13, 2009 at 2:26 am Purple5 Said:

Peetie5-

Amazing poem! I really liked it! I really loved the way you kinda spaced out the words a bit on the serparate(sp?) lines. lol. Yeah, good job!
on October 15, 2009 at 9:56 pm whywas6afraidof7? Said:

Ok, so this is a poem about how pretty much every teenage girl feels at some point in her life. It isn’t very good, but I really wanted to post something on here. So here it goes:

Empty Space
My heart breaks
I am alone
In a room full of friends
Hello
That’s what he said
My heart soars
Then falls
They smile
Love in their eyes
Why?
Life is so unfair
They pair up
Animals on the ark
I hear
Over and Over
A certain promise
That “one day”
I hope
“One day” is soon

Alrighty, well just let me know what you think
whywas6afraidof7?
on October 16, 2009 at 10:34 pm Jane5 Said:

“Overwhelming Standstill”

As the winter winds blow
And my heart fills with snow
The damper of guilt starts to dull

For the chill of the cold
Coming slowly then bold
Consumes my soul in the hull

And when guessing the sum
My emotions fade numb
Until I feel nothing at all

But with mind in a daze
With my life in a haze
Feeling nothing is better than the fall
on October 18, 2009 at 10:14 pm justanother5anddime Said:

i just realized that almost everything ive posted on this foroum(sp?) has been a rhyme about some unreqited love or complaint, and rather silly because of it. so im going way out on a limb here and posting something that is not one of my silly little rhyme- in saying that i dont mean that its not silly, only that it doesnt rhyme and it comes much more from the heart than did my complaints about being tired and a summer fling. although, at the time, those very much did come from the heart. sorry, im droning on and on. i would never, ever post something like this if this wasnt anoymous. im actually a little nervous posting this even considering the anomonity(sp?) and protection my alter ego thing affords me. i mean if clark kents already wearing the snazzy spandex and cape, theres no reason he cant take a little joy ride in the sky, right?

i wrote this a while ago. since then my style changed alot, to be alot more simplistic, and if you think this is ametaur(sp?) and sappy and ridiculous(sp?) or any combination of bad things that writers dont want to hear, then kindly please keep that information to yourself. even in my alter ego, i get embaressed easily. if you dont understand the meaning, then i didnt do a good job writing it, and its not worth knowing.

Route 66
i was tired of monotone mundane roads
when at every intersection i would see
roads that could take me to highways and faraway places.
when you’re young and your car is fast
its hard to drive on past good times and possibilities.
and when all you see on your horizon is a straight well known street
you ache for wrong turns, a satisfaction in seeing dangerous scenery fly by,
and its hard to ignore that restlessness, that desire,
turning your wheel and pushing the pedals
to take a turn and get your kicks on route 66

i know now and i think i knew then that the turns were wrong
and that every mile traveled was a mile in the wrong direction
but i burned my map and tore down the rearview
left a straighter road somewhere in the dust
hit the gas and turned onto route 66
i dont know how long i looked or how far i drove
before i saw, as i see now, all too clearly,
that the life i thought i was driving toward
was no where to be found on the road
i was racing down nor in the song i was singing.
and though i tried to turn back my car
my map was mostly ashes and i didnt know where to go.
and so on the shoulder of the road i parked the car
and now im wondering if i can ever find my way back.

i lock the door and unroll the window
and through my tears i see
the scenery that each wrong turn
has brought me.
and i finger the folds
of the burnt still slightly smoking map
and smile a smile thick with bitterness
because its all crashing down on me.
its nothing more than an outdated song
and a lonely highway, and
ive burnt my map and lost my way
trying to get my kicks on route 66
on October 18, 2009 at 10:41 pm professorprodigy6 Said:

Here is a poem I just thought of:
I’m sorry our song ended on a bad note
and that it didn’t go the way it was wrote.
I hope you find a new tune to whistle to
I have, and sadly,
It doesn’t include you.
Kinda random but I just thought of it
Professorprodigy6
on October 19, 2009 at 6:31 pm peetie5 Said:

Professorprodigy6,

Just wanted you to know that your last poem really hit home and in a good way at that. Growing up, growing apart, moving on, basics complexs in love and life. I’ll be adding that poem to my notebook that I always keep with me, its contents my favorite poems and ones that strike me or give me a sense of being. I can see myself coming back to this over again or pausing to read it as I flip through the pages. Thank you for your addition and for inspiring all once again to not think, just write.

peetie5
on October 19, 2009 at 6:45 pm peetie5 Said:

In life and love, growing up, growing out, our ears are the painted pallette for a thousand colors of sound. This is a tribute, recognition, to the greatest of those ever to grace my ears.

Noise

And countless in a second by
Though none to match but two
In perfect syncapation
Of the three from lips of you

One round of long lost waiting games
Since parted I from home
And fifteen till the three sixteenths
In search a metronome

Though for a time lay undecided
Took the will of three
Your lullaby kissed restless ears
And chained our melody

Above the countless, single noise
Epitimy of true
In perfect syncapation
Beats the heart I share with you

peetie5
on October 19, 2009 at 7:05 pm THEGAME05 Said:

whywas6afraidof7,
i really like your poem… i think you were right when you said that that is something every teenage girl feels… i know i have felt like that…i just want to say thank you for sharing… keep it up… you are talented!!!
thegame05.
on October 19, 2009 at 7:06 pm THEGAME05 Said:

justanother5anddime,
i really like the stuff you have written… you have some good ideas… i am having a block and dont know what to write about… can you give me an idea?
on October 19, 2009 at 9:52 pm bookworm6 Said:

Alright, this is my second story, and here’s why I wrote this: although I’m a big fan of fantasy of fairy tales, I’ve always hated Snow White. I’m not sure why, I’ve just never liked that story. So, I wrote my version of the story.

Silence

I can explain this. I really can. I mean any one would have done the same thing in my position. Don’t say you wouldn’t have. You would. Trust me.
Let me explain. As the first-born son of a king turning eighteen next month, Father said I have to get married. I know, right? I can’t even drink yet, but I have to support a family. Needless to say, I wassn’t too happy about that.
So anyway, Father sent me to meet the “lucky princess”, Snow White. But when I get to her kingdom, she’s not even there!
Oh, and Father said to be nice to the Queen, because she can be a real witch. Boy, was that a misjudge of character. She was really nice, and hot too. Like seriously, there was probaly no one in this world hotter then she was. Well, there was one, but she doesn’t come in the story until later.
Since the chick wasn’t there, I decided to go home, and to take a shortcut through the “enchanted forest”. When the Queen heard this, I promise you, she jumped, like, three feet in the air. She then gave me this really weird look and says, “Are you sure you want to go that way?”
“Uh, yeah,” I could tell that she really wanted to tell me something, but she didn’t. Instead she gave me a pear and said, “I’m giving you this, not so you can eat it, but so we can give it to someone else. Hopefully, you won’t have to.”
Obviously, I thought that was weird, but I didn’t think anymore of it until later.
on October 19, 2009 at 11:57 pm Coolwhip5 Said:

whywas6afraidof7, your poem had a lot of meaning behind it i think. The layout was nice, overall i liked it .

BTW i could really use some topics to write songs about if anybody can help me out. preferably happy, but i find myself better at deeper stuff anyways, i’ll take what i can get.
on October 20, 2009 at 10:41 pm whywas6afraidof7? Said:

Coolwhip5 and THEGAME05,
Thank you so much for the encouraging comments The poem was just something I wrote when I was feeling kinda left out of the crowd. Anyways, I will probably post another poem sometime.
whywas6afraidof7?
on October 22, 2009 at 10:02 pm pinky5 Said:

Peetie5- I am very impressed with all of your work so far. You are very talented. I agree with every post you make, even if it’s just a comment on someone else’s work. Thank you for your contributions. Keep posting! (:
-Pinky5
on October 22, 2009 at 10:04 pm route66 Said:

bookworm6-
so I read your story and Im a little confused. did you mean to stop at that random spot? Are you going to finish it? Also,I have a little tip. I mean i dont know who you are so i dont know if you’re actually a story writer or not, but maybe you shouldnt write stories as if YOU were actually talking. Like dont tell a story like you would to a close friend like when you said “Since the chick wasn’t there: or ” I promise you, she jumped, like, three feet in the air. ” Im not trying to shoot you down, thats just my opinion.
on October 23, 2009 at 5:04 pm 5fanwriter Said:

Alright, THIS time I remembere to put in the atni-spam code! Would’ve had this up last night, but thanks to that little box I got my post earased. This week I’m going to hold off on posting my normal story and give y’all some stuff you might like. This is a one-shot of something that won’t be posted here. It was a fan work originaly(sp?)but I’ve tried to make it ambiguous. Enjoy!

He was awake again, but not really on his own accord. Another one of his kind had rolled over on him and nearly suffocated him. Quickly, the little boy tried to wiggle and squirm his way out, and in a few minutes, was free. He hurredly crawled to where his older sister slept and snuggled her for warmth. Even with the added comfort of kin, the child couldn’t go back to sleep. So, he decided to occupy himself by taking in his familiar surroundings.
Nothing had changed since he and his small family had been brought to this place. The dungeon was still dark, wet, cold and smelled of things the boy was glad he didn’ know. the walls were lined with cages filled with others like him. Some of them were sleeping, like he should be. If he listened hard enough, he thought he could hear soft crying. The child knew how they felt. He was still afraid of what might happen to him and his family.
The doors to the chamber creaked open and startled him from his on-coming doze. He wasn’t the only one rudely awakened. In a matter of minutes everyone in the dungeon was awake and tense, waiting for what was to come. The monsters, or masters, as they liked to be called, almost never came at this time of night.
The boy’s sister held him tight in her arms. He glanced up at her worried face and whimpered, only to be shushed tersely. The child turned his eyes back to the monsters now towering over his group. Their beady eyes darted from face to face until they found what they wanted. The boy’s heart skipped a beat when one of the creatures pushed aside his sister and yanked him up well off the ground to its eye level. It and its companion spoke in their own language to each other, gesturing to him a few times. The taller of the two shook its head and pointed to someone out of the boy’s view. He was promptly dropped and replaced by the other, the pen door slamming behind him.
The siblings hugged each other in relief that neither of them had been chosen and watched the two great monsters leave their prison. He was shaking from fear and tiredness and wasn’t going to let go of his sibiling. Slowly,his sister began to hum to him softly in an effort to calm him. At first, the boy wouldn’t allow himself to taken by sleep in fear of the monsters returning. However, his desire to sleep outfought his wanting to stay awake and eventually the pair drifted off together.

This was partially inspired by a Tokio Hotel song. See if you can guess it.

5fanwriter
on October 23, 2009 at 10:22 pm SpBg54321 Said:

STEALING THE ACT:

Nothing in the twenties,
It’s thirty or bust for me.
The only option seems to be
To steal the ACT

Christmas trees won’t cut it-
The answers: A, B, C, or D.
The proudest moment of my life,
Bragging about a thirty-three.

I happen to know this one person,
Quite a sketchy fellow is he,
But in his pocession he has,
the answers to this years ACT

I walk into the testing room,
As confident as could be;
But am stopped by a lousy teacher
For my TI-93 – a ballad writing genius
on October 25, 2009 at 4:55 pm bookworm6 Said:

route66: Yes, I am going to finish the story. I just forgot to say that I was when I posted and didn’t realized that I forgot until I read your post. That was my fault, and I’m sorry for confusing anybody. Also, thank you for your input, but the story is written in first person, as if he was telling somebody something that happened to him that day, or in this case, trying to defend himself. That’s why this story is written the way it is.

5fanwriter: The awesomeness of your story was only enhanced by the fact that it was based on a song from the greatest band of all time. I’m go ahead and guess: Rescue Me?
on October 25, 2009 at 5:41 pm quartergirl5 Said:

SpBg54321: hahaha!! i luv ur poem!! i wish i could steal the act questions too! its really cute and witty. keep writin poems like that bc ur other one was witty 2. ur very creative and everyone can relate to ur writing. and im sure ull do fantastic on the act!
~quartergirl5
on October 25, 2009 at 8:29 pm Jane5 Said:

Peetie5-
I really liked your poem! It was really good! I like how not every line rhymes exactly but adds meaning. Some people only focus on the rhyme scheme and lose meaning and depth. I also like your use of strong words.
The poem was really meaningful.
on October 25, 2009 at 9:25 pm hi5 Said:

Jane5:
Whoa. I’m speechless over “Overwhelming Standstill”. It has everything an outstanding poem should have: The intensity that makes you think, the true to life feeling, and the great use of adjectives and verbs. You should submit it to the creative writing magazine. Jane5, well done!!
hi5
on October 25, 2009 at 10:07 pm pinky5 Said:

You are my best friend
advisor
love
and desire.

i couldn’t live
without you here
beside me
through and through.

thinking of a world without you
is depressing, lonely, blue.
so i’ll just pretend you’re near
in hope it will come true.
on October 25, 2009 at 10:10 pm Purple5 Said:

SpBg54321-

Hahahaha, I really liked your poem! It was really original, and very well written. It made me laugh. I could totally see everything as it was happening. Very good poem!
on October 26, 2009 at 6:28 pm peetie5 Said:

My Muse

From reoccurring artist lock
The fault of two-faced fate
Does fill the puddled pity tears
Unable to create

And from the sorrow self obliged
Grim waters do I peer
In place the gathered ripple pond
The inspiration mirror

Yet dropping down with squinted eyes
In search of what I see
This reoccurring artist lock
No match for written key

So followed that the wreckless dash
Remembered not to lose
The canvas face of letters black
The poem of the muse

-peetie5
on October 26, 2009 at 6:37 pm peetie5 Said:

SpBg54321:
I would like to start by saying HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now that that’s over with I must commend you for introducing a humorous side to poetry. So often the side seen is that of a morbid,depressing art. I’m looking forward to haering from you again and coming back when I need a good laugh. Thanks again!

-peetie5
on October 26, 2009 at 10:11 pm the6supercoolguy Said:

Last week in Mrs. Archibald’s class we had to write a speech on something we feel passionatly about. Well, i wrote mine, then i thought it sounded pretty good. I just wanna see what yall think:

Lost Souls
Life, is filled with happiness, yet at the some time it is filled with unfair truths. Now, what ISNT and unfair truth? Death is not an unfair truth, I feel it’s more of a release or freedom from life. When you die, there are two places for you to go. First there is Heaven. In Heaven,you are free, of life, temptations, of sins and of sadness. Second, there is Hell. In Hell, you are not free. You are filled with pain, sufering, and misery beyond all belief. Today, I am going to state: what is a lost soul, how do you become one, and whats so bad about being lost anyway.
Attending, a funeral can be both happy and sad. You could be happy because you know they were a good person, and they were spiritually succeesful. They did their job in life and you know for a fact that they are going to Heaven. This type of person is a free soul. However, you could be sad because they were not spiritually fulfilled, and they wasted their life with nothing but unfogiven sins. They did not do their job in life, and …you know for a fact that they are going to Hell. This is a lost soul.
When someone has a lost soul, they rejected God. They did not put fortha well atempt to know Him, and they didnot wont to know Him. They sinnedall their life and was not forgiven. Worst of all, they wen t through their whole life expecting everything to take care of itself, and when something went wrong, they would blame someone else. This is why they are lost. Whenever,they have a problem, whenever something trsgic happens in their life, they have nothing to turn to. they have absolutly nothngto depend on. Therefore, they are lost in life.
Lastly, lost souls think that theres no point to find God, but the fact of the matter is, there are nothing but pointsin finding Him. Becausewhen you die, and you are a lost soul, there is no hope. There is no hope, no second chance, no redo, and no forgiveness. Life is over, and it is all too late. When you die as a lost soul, you go to hell, and hell is abominable.When a person is tormented with a bitter memorythey sometimes commit suicide as a way out. However, in Hell this is impossible, because your spirit can never die, but will always rememberhow you sold your soulfor the pleasures of this short sinful life.
All in all, Hell is an unthinkably gruesome path to choose for your self. In order to preventbeing a lost soul, I suggest you ask for forgivness, for He is a forgiveing God. Nothing you can do in this lifetime is unforgivable. Its not too late to change.
on October 27, 2009 at 9:27 pm THEGAME05 Said:

5fanwriter,
i really like your writings!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think you have some major talent there!!!!!!!!!
so everyone, we have to write a scary short story in one of my classes so i think im going to post it on here too… if thats ok with you guys…. i still need some topics to write about and some good books to read… if you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know….
THEGAME05.
on October 28, 2009 at 6:13 pm Jane5 Said:

I just wanna say thankyou to everybody for all the feedback! The encouragement is really great!
on October 28, 2009 at 10:27 pm bookworm6 Said:

This is the rest of my story. I decided to go ahead and poost the rest of it because it’s really not that long and I think I may have confused people with the last instalment… probaly because I didn’t actually say that it was only one part… yeah…

So, I’m writing in the carriage and all of a sudden, we randomly stop. My servant opens the door, and seeing my less than happy expression, nervously says, “Your Majesty, you may want to see this…”
I look outside, and to my surprise, I see a beautiful coffin made of gold and glass. Inside was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. She had long hair that was as black as embony, snow white skin, and lips as red as blood. Wait, that last one sounded kinda creepy. Oh well. The point is that she was, in a word, flawless.
All of a sudden, this little guy comes out of nowhere, yelling at me for “disturbing the sleeping princess.” So I said, “I’m not sure about sleeping, I think she might be dead.” He didn’t exactly take that well, and I found myself getting wacked repeatedly with a cane.
After my sevants sucessfully got that weird little dwarf off of me, I asked who the girl was. It turns out that the dead chick, Snow White, was the princess that Father had tried to set me up with. It didn’t feel right leaving her in the middle of the woods, so with the dwarf’s permission, I decided to turn back around to take her to her family.
We then reached a problem: since there was no way that I was going to ride in the carriage with a dead chick, we had to put her on top, and when we did, she wasn’t exactly secure. I told them not to worry about and to just go slow. I then told them to hurry up so we can go home.
All of a sudden I heard a thump-crack sound, and sure enough, the girl had fallen off the carriage and the coffin had broken open.
Then, the most amazing thing happened. The girl started coughing, and she sat up! She spat out what looked to be a part of an apple, and asked, “Who are you?”
I told her my name and she immeadiatly perked up. I decide to be the chivalrous prince that I was supposed to be, and knelt down and kissed her hand. I think she liked that because she started blushing. I then picked her up and gently placed her in the carriage. I admit that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to getting hitched, but, hey, I’m not complaining. Snow White’s hot.
Once again, we start riding back to her castle. During the trip, she starts talking about herself. And doesn’t stop. Ever. And most of its stupid complaints too, like how her stepmother was so mean because she would make Snow occasionally take out the trash or sweep the floor because she had given the servants the day off to spend with their families. She also complained about how her stepmother wouldn’t let her sleep over at Rapunzel’s house, just because Rapunzel lived with a witch in a tower in the middle of the woods.
I was wondering how Snow’s stepmom put up with this for sixteen years, when Snow starts complaing about being hungary and the last thing she had eaten was an apple some creepy old lady gave her. That’s when it hit me: Snow’s stepmom didn’t just put up with it. She did something about it.
I then remembered the pear, and I decided to do something about her. I gently asked, “Snow, would you like a pear?”
“Um, yes! I’m liiiiikeee… starving!” and grabs the pear from me. Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!!! That was like, the grossest pear ev… er…” Bam! She’s out cold.
We dropped her off in a castle surrounded by thorns. It’s not like we left her there on her own, there was another girl in there too. She was kinda cute, but I didn;t want to take any chances.
Ok… maybe it wasn’t the best thing to do. But like I said, anyone would have done the same thing. And after we ditched her, I heard the most beautiful sound in the world: Silence.
on October 29, 2009 at 7:20 pm jugaralbeisbol5 Said:

pinky5…i really enjoyed your poem! very simple and to the point HA! but it was very created and i enjoyed it a lot! hopefully youll post some more simple poems haha
jugaralbeisbol5
on October 29, 2009 at 11:01 pm justanother5anddime Said:

so this is probably one of my last posts on the creative writing workshop.
this is probably one of my favorite poems, but it needs alot of work, so bear with me. ive messed with it a lot, and my latest version still needs a lot of editing and messing around with. i guess if everyone on here hates it, ill just leave it alone and quit messing with it.
so my poem is based on alices perspective before she drank the first batch of magic size changing drinks. if youve never read alice in wonderland, and consequently led a deprived childhood, or at least seen the movie, then you wont really understand this. in the beginning, alice is spending the day in the lazy sunshine when she sees a rabbit and, bored, she chases the rabbit, and ends up following him down his rabbit hole. at the bottom is a little room and through a tiny door she sees a beatiful, wonderful, garden, but, even with the key, shes too big to fit through the door. my poem is based on her perspective as shes contemplating what she left behind and how she cant get into the garden where she wants to be. anyway, ill post the latest version and the original. i know this is long and if youre still reading this i really appreciate it.

modified
alice without wonderland

it was just a chase
a game played in the lazy sunshine
but now ive fallen too deep inside the rabbit hole

ive already lost the sunshine from up above
and more than that i think ill loose
this paradise that was never mine
and all wonder from this forsaken land.

in this little room
caught between my old world and my new love
illuminated with sunshine streaming in from a world above

i am tormented in a hell of unsatisfied desire
and terrified of being forever denied
passage though the door to the garden i think i love

i unlocked the door i thought id found the way
but the key was just a key
and im as far from the garden as i could be

now through this door barred to me
i look ravenously to my garden of wonder
filled with lustrous roses and sweet sunshine
fragent aromas and inviting stepping stones

why must everything i love and desire
be locked just of my reach
i’ve fallen too deep inside the rabbit hole

original
Alice Without Wonderland

ive fallen too deep inside the bunny hole
and when the hourglass runs out of time
ill find that ive lost the sunshine
and the wonder from this forsaken land
i unlocked the door i thought id found the way
but the key was just a key
and im as far from the garden as i could be
now im stuck between the worlds i love
i cant go back into the sunshine above
nor forward to the garden in the wonderland
ive fallen too deep inside the bunny hole
ive lost the sunshine from above
and ive lost the wonder from this land
the diamonds i once held are now nothing but coals in my hand
ive fallen too deep inside the bunny hole
and the hourglass is out of sand
on October 29, 2009 at 11:05 pm justanother5anddime Said:

petite5-
having read over the posts of yours that i had missed, i have to say that i am very impressed, and more than a little jealous. your rhyme scheme and complex, intricate subject matter, as well as beautiful style, are reminicisent of edgar allen poe, and you have no idea the level of respect i mean by that. yours-
justanother5anddime
on October 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm bookworm6 Said:

justanother5anddime: Please don’t let this be the very last thing that you post on the creative writing workshop. You stuff is really good and I particurally enjoyed the Alice and Wonderland poem. Your poem was really original, and I liked how you put your original poem on with it.
on October 30, 2009 at 9:54 pm vonnykinz6 Said:

O.k……..so I haven’t posted anything on this page yet. Partly b/c I’m not sure how people will take the things that I say but I love writing and I guess it’s time to hear the ideas of some new people!!! So I’m just gonna write something off of the top of my head right now…….

WHY DO THEY CARE……

Why do they care so much about if I live or die?
Why do they care so much about the things that make me cry?
All we do is argue…..and cause eachother pain
So why do they care if I sleep outside all alone in the rain?
Who are they to tell me what I can and cannot do?
Weren’t we born with the same abilities???
I can think for myself too!!!!
They say they’ll always love me….no matter what I do
So why do they get so mad, when I say what I don’t want to do?
Parents are so weird!!!!! They never say what they mean!!!!
The only thing they’re clear about is my room staying clean….
I argued with my mom 2day over something stupid like always.
Sometimes I feel like the best thing to do is just to run away.
We never agree….at all!!!!!!
It takes a long time to stop once my tears start to fall.
So if all of these things are true, then why do they care………..
All I know is that the pain will always be there……
on October 31, 2009 at 12:04 pm hi5 Said:

SpBg54321:
Ha! Don’t we all wish we could secretly know all of the answers to the ACT! And if it’s not possible… can’t we get a study guide?? Very clever and witty! I enjoyed the whole thing.
Hi5
on October 31, 2009 at 10:00 pm 5fanwriter Said:

bookworm6

After reading this version and the original, I think this one’s a little better. The prince in this one’s a (kinda) typical teen guy as in “Hey she’s hot but I can’t STAND her!”. I’m with the stepmom for kicking her out. Just a few tiny spelling mistakes, but none of us are perfect. Can you give us a hint at what your next intstallment will be, if there is one?
(And you’re close on the Tokio Hotel song. REALLY close!)

5fanwriter <– Hehee! I just noticed my name's an unintentional "9" reference!
on November 1, 2009 at 3:56 pm THEGAME05 Said:

here’s a poem…. hope you like it…….

Daddy’s Little Girl

Rough, tan, and gentle.
They hold me when I cry.
A great wall of china to the uninvited
“Daddy why did you leave me?”
“I could never truly leave you pumpkin…”

“What does that mean?”
“You will understand when you are older.”
It all seems so far away
It seems to have happened in a different world.

I remember being a little girl,
It was all about daddy in my world.
I loved you so much.
I wish you could have known.

I got a little older,
Things began to get clearer.
Not much had changed
I was still your chicken girl.

Mistakes were made,
You started to drift away.
Slowly it went from daddy to dad,
Then to father. I was so mad.

It felt as if,
I was no longer cherished.
I felt unloved.
There was no way I was going to forgive you.

But as slowly as it had come,
The anger went away.
I did forgive,
And mistakes were understood.

No matter what anyone says,
You are my daddy again.
I love you, and
Although I wanted to, I never stopped.

I want you to be the man to walk me down the isle.
But don’t worry,
Although it may seem as if I’m growing up,
I will always be your little girl.
on November 1, 2009 at 9:02 pm route66 Said:

vonnykinz6

wow, that was really good! and its funny how by the time i got to the 4th line, i knew you were talking about parents. haha it makes sense and i feel like that sometimes too, you should definiteky put more wrtings on here
on November 2, 2009 at 5:19 pm THEGAME05 Said:

ok… so i said that i would post my scary story that we had to write for one of my classes… here it is… let me just say that its not all that scary, but i would like to know what you think….

“How Have You Been, Thomas?”
The time, the middle of the night on April 6, 1821. The place, a dark alley in London, England. Melly and her husband William stepped out of a theatre after seeing Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Melly had absolutely loved it. William had no opinions on it all he cared about was his wife, but he guessed that if she loved it he would too.
The driver sat waiting patiently for his masters to come out. William nodded at their driver and though of how strange it was that they did not even know his name. When they needed to speak to him he always seemed to know so they never had the need to know his name.
They got in the carriage and heard the driver urge the horses forward. Al they could was talk. They talked about boasting to their friends about seeing a real play.
Melly suddenly got the chills and scooted closer to William. He wrapped his arm around her and before he knew it they were kissing.
Then all of a sudden the carriage came to a halt. William got out to tell the driver to keep going but gasped loudly.
“What is it, Will?” Melly said stepping out of the carriage after William. She screamed.
The driver was lying dead on the ground. Pale and lifeless, he did not appear to have a drop of blood in his body; there was no blood on the ground either.
They looked around in all directions but saw no one. When she had her back turned to her husband she heard a screech of terror, she spun around and he was gone. Melly turned back around and heard a thud. When she looked, her husband’s body was on the ground and looked just like the driver’s.
She turned toward the carriage and got in. Sitting down on the bench she wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes in terror. When she opened them again a man was sitting in the seat across from her. She took a deep breath, preparing to scream, but then she recognized the man; it was Thomas. They had been friends for five years. She relaxed just a bit.
“How have you been Thomas?” she asked, trying to make distracting conversation while her mind was working. He was about to answer but then an evil gleam appeared in his eyes.
He laughed suddenly and Melly jumped. She was not expecting him to laugh at such a serious time. “Do you want to have some fun Melly?”
“You know I would never cheat on William,” she said.
“Oh, I don’t mean like that he said looking at her pale white neck.
She saw he was looking at her neck and forced herself to remain calm. “Thomas, please just leave me alone and go home,” she pleaded.
“I can’t let you go now, Melly,” he said. “I know you have connected the dots in your mind, and you know my little secret. I can’t just let you go.”
Melly hopped out of the carriage and started to walk backwards away from it watching Thomas get out slowly. She turned around and ran.
“Come back,” he said tauntingly and chased after her.
She looked back and he was gone, but when she turned back he was standing five feet in front of her. She stopped and took a few steps back.
She closed her eyes for a minute and took a deep calming breath. Opening them she met his eyes with a steady unwavering gaze.
“I’m not scared of you Thomas,” she said.
“Oh, really?” He laughed. “We will see about that.” He took a menacing step towards her.
on November 2, 2009 at 11:02 pm peetie5 Said:

justanother5anddime:
I can’t express the meaning behind that comparison! Poe was a true artist and a master of the craft not of poetry but of his complex understanding of human emotions. I too have looked through your poetry and found myself impressed by your unique style. It was in fact your poetry that persuaded me to make my first post here. The secret identities we hold and hide behind have long proven their purpose. I think it was meant to be for our poetry to connect us so far deeper than faces could. I must admit that I haven’t the slightest clue who you are and still debate whether I want to know. But we’ve got the year ahead of us and a million posts to figure it out. Until then I will be faithfully reading your posts and undoubtedly enjoying the works of one of the few individuals that spark my artistic interest. Thanks again!

peetie5
(and by the way it’s peetie ! )
on November 2, 2009 at 11:11 pm peetie5 Said:

Rainy Days

To turn my face upon the sun
As that of earth would do
Would merely steal contented soul
The feathered wings of you

And so I roll to meet my face
Into your beating chest
To never ponder heavy things
So tucked the blanket nest

And soft into my elfin ears
I hear the angel coo
Whisped sweetly to my soggy heart
Your simple “I love you”

And back to silence, pattering rain
So nestled like a dove
We drift to sleep, to steady beat
That syncopates our love

peetie5
on November 2, 2009 at 11:27 pm Coolwhip5 Said:

THEGAME05,

that was quite good, i liked the way you arranged everything chronologically and ended out with the title, very good in my eyes.

and guys, now i need some band name ideas, pretty much got the band together almost, just need a name. i got nothin and could use some help. thanks
on November 4, 2009 at 12:32 pm THEGAME05 Said:

coolwhip5,
im glad you liked it. i think its one of my favorite works. thats how i find my title for most of my stuff.
THEGAME05.

Here is another poem but let me warn you its a little disturbing… (i dont feel like this… i am actually really happy…)

False hope.

Silence rings in her ears,
Making it permanent.
It’s official.
It’s done.

No one will answer,
No one will look.
She calls their names,
And gets no reply.

Why are they acting
Like they can’t see her?
Why are they acting
As if she’s not there?

She looks down at bloodied
Wrists and pale white hands.
Long red lines tracing blue veins,
And things come rushing back.

The loneliness floods her brain
Causing her wrists to ache.
She screams
Because she remembers.

She holds the plastic bottle filled with
Her father’s blood thinners
In her hand
After taking a few.

Waiting till she was sure
That they were working,
She returns to
The bathroom to finish.

The cool metal resting in
Her hand, she grasps
It firmly and takes in
A deep steadying breath.

Not thinking she traces the blue
Life lines on her left wrist feeling the
Pain and smiling, watching
The red blood run.

She takes the blade in her
Left hand, and painfully,
With her wrist still bleeding
Does the same to the other.

And she waits.
Waits for everything to disappear,
For color to be replaced by black.
Hoping to die.

And it worked.
Now she is dead.
Stuck here in the world,
Just as invisible as she was alive.
on November 4, 2009 at 6:24 pm pinky5 Said:

This is dedicated to everyone who has made me who I am today. Whether you hurt me, helped me, loved me, or left. Thank you for being apart of my life.

Looking Back.
Memories.
Once they were real.
Once.
It seems so far away now.
Because I was a different person.

Once was when I was THAT girl.
I wore those clothes.
I had those friends.
I thought I was invincible.

Once was when I was in love with that boy.
That silly, goofy, adorable boy.
Back when unrequitted love was my enemy.
When my one sided love story was always on my mind.

Then we move on.
Through the pain and tears.
Heartbreak, too.
But aslo through the smiles and sunshine.

Back to the night he danced with me.
I was taller.
And in pictures we look awkward.
But I know how I felt for those few minutes.

I wouldn’t go back to those days for anything.
It was fun while it lasted.
When I had those friends.
But I’m not that girl anymore.

I’ve grown out of her.
Cast away the mold that made me who I am.
I’m not finished changing yet.
But, I’ve got the right mindset.

I’m ready.
I’ve got my friends.
I’ve got that silly, goofy, adorable boy,
Though now he is less silly, less goofy, and more handsome than adorable.

I’m moving on.
So here goes nothing.
Remember me as I am now
Because I won’t be this way for forever.

Pinky5
on November 4, 2009 at 9:12 pm route66 Said:

peetie5

so is your poem about what you may think about when there’s a rainy day? haha I’m slow, I dont really get it, but i still like it (: it’s better than anything i could ever come up with
on November 5, 2009 at 6:19 pm 5fanwriter Said:

Okay, thanks to the recent topic of “Mary had a little Lamb” for “Lamb to Slaughter”, my creative side’s been struck. Here’s a song parody of Unwell by Matchbox 20.

Uninspired

All hour
Lookin’ out the window
Prayin’ class goes by soon
All day
Hearn’ teachers tellin’ me
That I should do my projects
Because they’re due tomorrow
Oh no
It seems my work’s nothin’ but a
Train wreck
And I know why

I’m not lazy
I’m just a little uninspired
Teacher, teacher can’t ya tell?
But hey wait a while and then you’ll see
The artistic side of me
I’m not lazy
I’m just a little bit emotion-drained
‘Cause right now I don’t care
But eventually you’ll see
The blogger inside of me

Talkin’ to my friends in English
Dodgin’ glances from our Teach’
I see
I see him giving us a death glare
I hope he doesn’t call our moms . . .
I know
Know when I get home I’ll have to
Sit down, and get this post up

But I’m not lazy
I’m just a little uninspired
Teacher, teacher can’t ya tell?
But hey wait a while and then you’ll see
The artistic side of me
And I’m not lazy
I’m just a little bit emotion-drained
‘Cause right now I don’t care
But eventually you’ll see
The blogger inside of me!
The blogger inside of me!

-5fanwriter
on November 5, 2009 at 8:42 pm THEGAME05 Said:

peetie5,
i think i might use your idea and write a poem about rainy days… you are quite talented… i really like your poetry… its really good!!!!!!!!!!!
on November 5, 2009 at 11:02 pm bookworm6 Said:

5fanwriter: Unfortunitly, there will not be another installment to Silence, that was the end. Sorry for any confusion, I’m REALLY REALLY bad at endings but I’m working on that, I promise. However, I got my word processor for my laptop today and it is currently installing in my computer, which means I will no longer have to write out everything on paper.(Yay!) I’m going to give you two words to describe my next short story: Dracula and Twilght. Also I can’t believe I got my TH songs mixed up! That made me sad.

peetie5: Your poem was so cute! It made me smile. You really are a good poet, and I can’t wait to read some more of your stuff.

Btw: This is to all the writers here posting their stuff on the Creative Writing Workshop: Each year our creative writing club makes a coloquial magazine showcasing our school’s writing talents. We’re putting poetry, short stories, all sorts of stuff in the magazine. If you would like to have your writings in the magazine, all you have to do is go to Ms. Fisher, room 208, and ask her to look at it. If you want to have your stuff posted but you want to be anonymous, you can. If you have any questions about this, ask anyone in the creative writing club, Ms. Fisher, or post it here and I’ll answer your question. Thanks!

Mr. Hudson’s Neighborhood

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”–Oscar Wilde

Creative Writing Workshop 09-10

144 Comments Leave a comment.

Leave a Comment

Pages

Recent Posts

Archives

Helpful Links

November 2009
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Oct
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30